Social life - with a baby

So, this post is completely unrelated to the "theme" of my blog.

There has been a lot of bitterness that I have been holding onto for a long time - since Eli was born. I have repented but it seems like I'm just now being able to let go. I want to write about it so I can completely have it off my chest and off my mind. I've given it to the Lord and writing it out is helping to let go; so here it is.

I can't begin to tell you how many people have warned me that seasons come and go as you grow older and if you are able to count 5 close friends in your lifetime you are truly blessed. I understand that getting engaged can make your single friends feel somewhat excluded and then when you tie the knot it gets harder to stay in contact because you start making friends with other couples and your single friends mingle with other singles. I respect that truth in life and respect my friends who have done that but have kept in touch. I also understand that having a baby can distance those friendships even further as well as friendships with couples without kids or couples that don't want kids in the near future. I respect that as well. It just becomes hard to accept that after years of hanging out, sometimes working together at the same job, sharing life's ups and downs, watching certain friends find boyfriends and get engaged and then married - you all of a sudden don't exist. How could I have held those relationships in such high regard in my mind when it obviously didn't mean as much to those friends who so easily forgot I was here?  I know that friends "come and go" and that when we are in different seasons of life staying in touch isn't always easy or sometimes fun for both people. BUT I do have friends that have kept in touch and we've gotten together to catch up with what is going on in each others lives. I appreciate that SO much. It's the "friends" that you've done things with for so long that just drop off the face of the Earth despite your best efforts of staying in touch without driving them crazy that have had me in tears. Many tears. I felt so alone and forgotten.

BUT through a lot of prayer, talking with Steve, putting family first, and focusing on the friends who WANT to stay in touch, I can say the hurt is slowly going away. I have to let the Lord be my comfort, my companion, my best friend, and my refuge for ALL THINGS...not just for my loneliness or pained heart of loosing friends.  I've finally accepted that and am slowly moving on. It was hard not to let go of my bitterness for a long time.

One thing that also helps with the sense of loss is the following.
I know that becoming a stay at home mom is a sacrifice in many ways and a blessing in all ways. I sacrificed another income for my family, friendships at work that I cherish, my independence, my social life in many ways, a lot of alone time with my husband, vacations, sleeping in on mornings, new clothes b/c if I'm honest I don't feel like getting spit up on in a new blouse that I won't wear often since I don't leave the house much, and leaving the house just b/c I can and want to.
On the other hand my life has been so blessed by having my son and staying home to care for him and raise him into a godly young boy. I love that I will soon  have a house to care for and organize so that I can host fellowship dinners, parties, and soon birthday parties with little kids running around. I love that God has called me to be a mommy to Eli and that I don't have to miss all his milestones and even the little things like booboos. I love that I CAN stay home and that we CAN afford for me to not work full or even part time. God has provided so that I can be the mother and wife he wants me to be.

These are just some of the ways that I know I've made the right choice and that despite my social life (or at times lack there of), I have a little person who is a part of me that I have been blessed to love and take care of for the rest of my life. (And love him to death I do!) I know that a social life isn't the end all be all for us as humans. Our true worth is found in Christ Jesus and what we do should to bring glory to God. But for a woman who has always loved her friends, counted it a blessing to have so many friends and has always had an active social life, loosing friends and most of her social life is a hard thing.

Also, don't think that I don't have any friends by how I've posted the above! lol I have been blessed with many new friends ever since Eli was born. There are many new moms and we are all learning and growing together. Some of my long time friends have kids as well and we hang out all the time! I'm blessed to have them in my life and to know that if I have questions or concerns, they have had them too and that I'm not a lone. I have many single friends who love Eli as if he is theirs and I love that we still hang out and go out in spite of me having him with me most of the time. But there are just those times where you miss the people from your past and wish that things could have turned out differently. I guess that is mostly what I'm getting at. To all who are a part of my life and the lives of my husband and son, we love and cherish your friendships and thank God for you all each night.

We pray everyone is having a wonderful summer and if we finally get into this house, we'll do a "House warming" party. :)
If you actually made it to the end, props to you! <3
Here are a few pixs of the lovely kiddos and their parents in our lives and some of our single friends as well. If I missed anyone I am sooo sorry but it is 4am! ;)

My sister, Katie, with her nephew (our son), Eli. Auntie Did is his fave! ;)

Katie and "E" visited us at church for Eli's dedication. Eli loves his older buddies. :)

Eli's "aunts Anna and Liz." Liz visited from AZ this summer and met Eli for the first time.

Eli with his friend "J" in her big girl pool! :) Eli still didn't know how to sit up yet.

Eli will have an older buddy to show him the ropes. "J" will have to teach Eli a lot! :) His mommy, Meghan, has been a huge help with questions along the way. Nice to have another mommy with a boy! ;)

Mommy and Daughter pictures for "J" and Elysa when "J" was just 9 months. So precious. :) (For some reason none of the ones with Matthew would down load...but note that Matthew is a wonderful daddy and would be pictured if I was techy enough! ;))

Dan and "J." Dan and Steve have been best friends and as a couple Dan and Meghan have been such a blessing in our lives.

Another mommy daughter moment for Elysa. :)

Baby "E" with her daddy, Nate, when she turned 1! Hard to believe she is already 2 years old!!

Happy family! We love you guys and are thankful for your encouragement on this journey of being a parent! Love all three of you guys! <3

This is Brittney; we went to high school together and have been hanging out a lot. She's great with kids in general but she has such a great personality and Eli can't help but smile when she holds him and plays with him. :D We love you Britt!

Girls night + Eli last Friday! :D